Here's my application:
Dear Sue,Fingers crossed eh?
I'm writing to enquire about your recent advert for a Trainee Reporter at the Daily Mail.
I've reached a time in my life where I could perhaps benefit from a career change. Although I haven't had any journalistic experience, I do have a degree in English Literature and I have blogged for a number of years on the subject of the news media. I have a strong commitment to the promotion of the highest journalistic ethics and believe passionately in the necessity of a national press that shines a light in the dark, speaks up for those who would not otherwise have a voice and, above all speaks truth to power.
National newspapers have a responsibility to provide their readers with as accurate a representation of events as possible. Democracy itself relies on the public having reliable information to base their voting intention on. A cohesive society relies on having a united and co-operative people at its heart, with people treated equally and with fairness. People who are part of a minority group should be able to rely on a fair and ethical press to protect them from demonisation from those who would spread lies and disinformation about them for political or financial gain.
It is for these reasons that I've changed my mind while typing this letter and decided against applying. To be honest, the first time I was asked to massage immigration statistics, churn some skewed, exaggerated nonsense about Muslims banning things or encourage readers to become outraged about homosexuals being allowed to do something heterosexuals can, the nightmares would start.
Plus, I don't give a shit about bins.