Well, now we can let the depressing but interesting carnival begin!
Cue the capering clowns dressed as Schopenhaur to come tumbling through the tickertape and bunting down the street as the caliope belts out Radiohead tunes..
The Mail has obliged in a timely fashion with "Banned from flying the flag: Binmen threatened with sack if they show support for England during World Cup". And it's not just the binmen! Apparently:
A clampdown on public patriotism ahead of England’s first game against the U.S. in 15 days times has been enforced elsewhere in Britain.A clampdown on public patriotism! This stuff is priceless, especially because:
The binmen in Merseyside, working for private contract firm Enterprise-Liverpool, have also been banned from putting badgers and stickers inside their trucks,Top patriotic icon, the badger. But to be fair, they probably can block drivers' views as they rear up, snarling, to maul the poor sod's face. You can't downplay the danger of them grabbing the wheel either. I have to err on the side of the bin company on this one.
Bosses said they were concerned that the items could block drivers' views.
No badgers in dustcarts? What tradition will these PC fools ban next?
The actual evidence for a clampdown on public patriotism* goes no further than one rubbish disposal firm in Merseyside and cab drivers in Canterbury. Of course, their real reasons are shunted to the bottom. Here, we find out about the bin disposal company also being concerned with pedestrian safety - imagine standing at a crossing as a dust cart comes round the corner with a crappy, pointy bit of plastic at eye level - and that Canterbury Council gives the years old reason that surely isn't news now about being able to distinguish between its licensed cabs and other cars.
One thing's for sure - we'd have started getting these stories whether there were Facebook groups and an existing myth or not. Hurrah for honesty!
And on the subject of honesty, Mephitis in the comments on yesterday's post pionted out that someone appears to be actively trying to spread a hoax by dressing as a PCSO now. Well, either that or some foolish Support Officer has seen these groups and believed them and his bosses are so embarassed they pretended it didn't happen.
Enjoy the carnival! Get yourself a candyfloss - not with a stick now.
*Seriously, I've checked the OED. At no point does the definition of 'patriotism' include the words "flapping shitty bits of plastic with the word 'England' written across them, thus defeating the object of having a bloody flag in the first place". I really hate those, almost as much as I hate Jim fucking Davidson. If you were patriotic, wouldn't you display your national symbols without feeling the need for a description scrawled over them? If not, why not just cut out a bit of bin liner and write 'ENGLAND' on it in felt-tip? It would look just as nice.
**UPDATE** The badger typo has been fixed now. Killjoys. Banning humourous misspellings is PC Gone Mad. If I want to laugh at something spelled wrong in my own country yadda yadda yadda fluff fluff fluff BAN THE BURKA!