Sorry Smellyface, I nicked your rubbish catchprase.
You couldn't make it up. Seriously, you couldn't. The Mail's latest barrel-scraping effort to make us hate the BBC has just come to my attention and I just can't make it go away. I want to run up to strangers, grab onto their sleeves and with bulging eyes, breathlessly jabber, 'Do you know what they've done? What they're doing right now? Oh my god! It's - it's...don't go away, please, won't somebody listen?'
So I'd better start typing here before I get arrested.
Having been unsuccessful in causing outrage about Clarkson's joke about murdering prostitutes because what Littlejohn seriously said about prostitutes when he wasn't joking was ten times worse, and getting not much return for outrage about John Barrowman getting his willy out because it was on the radio and nobody could blooody see it anyway, the Mail has decided to go after Chris Moyles.
No bad thing, you might think. But you probably dodn't know what the paper has the sheer, unbridled chutzpah to complain about him doing. If you're drinking tea right now, swallow it, so that comedy spittage doesn't occur.
The Mail is complaining about someone saying something nasty about Polish people. Dear god, what next? It's like - it's like - well, I was going to say it was like somebody complaining about something they themselves have done for fucking ages, but you just don't get anything that illustrates that any better than the Mail getting outraged at someone saying something bad about the Polish. That crap saying about pots and kettles should be replaced with 'that's the Mail calling someone else anti-Polish'.
What is Dacre bothered about here? That Moyles is taking his job? According to the Mail, that's what Polish people do. Along with taking all our benefits, eating our swans, causing crimewaves, being responsible for serial killings (either by being the killer or merely being present in the country), being shit bus drivers, being sex perverts, and being prostitutes.
Which brings me to what the paper is pretending to be outraged about. Moyles apparently joked that Polish people make good prostitutes.
Here's what the Mail has had to say about Eastern Europeans and prostitution:
"A8 immigrants are "over-represented" in arrests for shoplifting, drunkenness, prostitution and burglary."
"The number of homeless people sleeping rough in central London has doubled in a year, and charity bosses claim similar problems are starting to emerge in other towns and cities - prompting fears that desperate migrants will drift into begging, prostitution or petty crime."
"A prostitute reclines in a brothel. The shocking rise in Eastern European sex slaves has made the number of brothels in the UK soar"
"Migration was linked to car crime, prostitution, benefit fraud, street drinking and overcrowded housing - often leading to litter and fly-tipping.
Police in Peterborough told the MPs that immigration had led to more cannabis-growing, trafficking of eastern European women, drink-driving and knife crime."
"Many of the estimated 70,000-100,000 prostitutes in Italy are from Eastern Europe and Africa, often illegal immigrants who are vulnerable to exploitation."The Mail is getting outraged about Chris Moyles making jokes based on assumptions that it, more than anyone else, set up in the first place. Not only that, but see that cartoon at the top of the page? The one with the hilarious joke about eastern European prostitutes? That was from the Daily Mail.*
The Mail can kick out crap about the BBC every single day, and the BBC can do nothing to retaliate, because it has to abide to rules applied by Ofcom that are conspicuously absent from the Press Complaints Commission Code of Practice. Of which Paul Dacre is Chair.
You know what would be great? If the BBC were granted permission to produce one thoroughly researched feature length documentary about journalistic practices at the Mail. And broadcast it in place of the entire Mail website for a month, with each day's dead tree paper front page taken up by a different story of how the paper has fiddled a set of stats, or jumped to conclusions about how ethnic minority crime victims were themselves criminals, or ditched a story because it was about black people, or piously attacked the BBC about decency while itself including paparazzi shots taken up a celebrity's skirt or down her top, or used Private Detectives to illegally obtain information about people while bleating on about the Big Brother state. Or, for that matter, lying to stir up bad feeling about Polish people. You'd have enough material to last more than a bloody month.
What a fucking disgrace.
Big old hat tip to the Enemies of Reason for this one. And to Akela for bringing it to his attention.
*That cartoon and comment on it is from the Enemies of Reason, via the MailWatch forums and something I remember getting the arse about ages ago. It's like the foetid decomposed icing on the cake made of poo.